I have been guilty of this for pretty much the entirety of my life. In my head I have this idea that if I have a "suitor" then I've still got a chance of getting married and having kids one day (which is pretty much all I've ever wanted), and so I'm happy. This, unfortunately, can be flipped. If I don't think that anyone fancies me I believe that my life therefore does not have any worth, as there is no possibility of this now happening. (Don't ask me why, that's just my brain for you!)
I've been thinking about this and I realised that it's not just me, our society is completely obsessed with relationships. Most of our best-selling films and books are epic romances, even films like Lord of the Rings play out the romances to draw extra interest. All of those scenes with Arwen and Aragorn? Yeah, not so present in the books believe it or not. The story is amazing on it's own, there was no need to add the romance. It's similar with the Hobbit as well, what on earth was up with that love triangle between Legolas, Taruiel and Kili? We're obsessed!
We are focus on who's dating who in the media. Take my idol (for want of a better word) Lea Michele. She is currently doing this thing called 'you first', where she encourages fans to look out for themselves, to be happy and healthy. Yet on every post she ever writes people focus on her previous relationship with Cory and current relationship with Matthew Paetz. She is doing all this good in the world and all we care about is her love life.
It's the same for Jennifer Lawrence. She wrote that awesome essay about women earning less and encouraging them to stick up for themselves, and on the whole hunger games press tours they focus whether she's dating Josh Hutcherson or Liam Hemsworth, or whether her relationship with Chris Martin was genuine.
This is ridiculous. And I think we've all got this idea that relationships are what makes the world goes around. That your life isn't worth as much if your single.
I'd like to challenge this notion.
Your life is worth everything. Whether you are dating someone or not. Your self-worth is not equivalent to your romantic life.
You can still have love in your life without a relationship. You have so many other ways to love and be loved. Your friends and your-family, for example. They love you almost unconditionally (I can't speak for everyone but I am not always a nice person and yet still mine still love to the brim.)
Most importantly though, you can love yourself. You have to live with yourself for our entire life, do you really want to waste it hating yourself? It drains you of your happiness. I know this is hard. I sure don't like myself like 95% of the time but I'm trying.
Let's be a society of people who see people ad love them for who they are, rather than for who or who not they may not be connected with. Let's be a generation of people who love themselves for themselves, not being happy in order for someone to come into it and make it whole.
Your life is complete in yourself. Believe it. And love yourself.
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